Frustration

While I was pregnant, I had this idea of what my labor and delivery would be like and I also had a vision of a nursing baby. Well none of what I had envisioned happened. I know that things rarely work out like we think they will, but never did I imagine that they would be so far off.

We've had problems with nursing since the beginning. Michael never wanted to latch on so I've been pumping since we brought him home from the hospital. Pretty quickly after that, I developed thrush on both breasts. I talked to my doctor and he prescribed me a medication for it. Now here's what tops this off. Last night I spiked a fever of 103.3. I called and talked to my doctor about it and decided to wait and see if the fever could be managed with Tylenol. If it couldn't be, I was to go on to the ER. Thankfully the Tylenol worked and my fever broke at 3 this morning. I went in to see the doctor this morning and found out that I have mastitis in both breasts. I did some research this morning and found out that mastitis is pretty common in breast feeding/pumping mothers, but it is very rare to develop it in both breasts. I am so glad that I am the lucky one to fall in the rare category. Last night I was ready to give up pumping and let Michael eat the milk that we've stored for him and then go on to formula. That changed this morning when I found out that is the worst thing I could do. If I quit pumping, I run the risk of developing an abscess that would have to be drained/taken care of in surgery most likely under general anesthesia. As my doctor was telling me all this, I looked at him and told him that never in a million years did I imagine getting my baby here and taking care of him would take such a toll on me. He agreed and told me that I was having a harder time than most.

The good news is that all of this will eventually go away. I'm on antibiotics now for the infection and just have to wait for them to do their job. Thankfully after my fever broke I felt somewhat human again. Hopefully, from what I've read, in the next 48 hours I will feel remarkably better. Say a little prayer that my body heals the way it's supposed to and that I can continue to provide God's perfect food for Michael.