Process

I have thought long and hard about what to put in this blog that has been laid on my heart.  After I read my sister-in-law, Stephanie's, blog the other day, I decided to share this.  If it's too much for some, I'm sorry, but I'm hoping that it might really help someone out there than might be suffering through some of the same things I am.  I also want to take away some of the stigma that having infertility treatments is bad or wrong somehow.  I feel that since octo-mom has come on the scene, people look at those of us that need a little help differently.  My body just won't do what it's made to do so we need a little help.  Is that so wrong??

I don't think it's been any secrect since the miscarriage in January that Aaron and I are once again trying to have another baby.  I didn't really share on here the process that we went through to get Michael here since I started this after I was already pregnant and on bedrest.

With Michael, we tried on our own for 17 months and got pregnant during the 18th.  I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).  This syndrome is a hormonal imbalance.  I have more of the male hormones in my body than most women.  That is why at 32 I still have acne and I have weird hair growth (I'm just thankful to not have it on my face like some women with PCOS do).  It also causes women who have it to not ovulate every month and when we do ovulate the egg quality is horrible which is why it has been so hard to get pregnant.  It can also cause insulin resistance which can lead to diabetes and causes excess weight gain hence part of the reason I'm a fat cow.

We made the decision last August or so to start the process of trying again.  I actually took my first set of meds while we were on the cruise last fall.  Needless to say, we did three or four rounds of meds with no luck.  Then in December or January my doctor decided she wanted to run a few tests on me so we decided to lay off the meds for a month.  If we were pregnant when she did the test, the test would have aborted the pregnancy.  The first of January I went in for an HGC test.  This is where the doctor blows dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes to make sure there is no blockage while watching it on a screen.  There's some kind of x-ray thing going on at the same time.  Everything was completely normal on my test.  At this point we were told that the chances of getting pregnant were next to zero.  Well low and behold we did get pregnant.  The doctor still says that there was a chromosomal abnormality with that baby but she also mentioned that my uterus could've still been irritated by the test and caused the miscarriage.  That was why we thought it was such a miracle.

Through all this we moved to Lubbock.  You would think with all we've been through it would be easy to get in to see a specialist here.  WRONG!!  I went back in March to see an OB/GYN here because there was a question as to whether or not I needed a D&C.  (Thankfully I didn't.  Want to scare yourself? Google that procedure.)  Dr.  Broome decided to send me to a specialist named Dr. Phy.  I was/am very happy about this because she came highly reccommended by our doctor in Midland.  He/I really thought I would be in to see her fairly quickly.  WRONG AGAIN!!  Our first appointment with her is July 26th.  As with all doctors now, she (ok her staff) sent us a packet of stuff to fill out.  I usually don't mind filling it all out, however, this one got a little more personal than any others have.  Not only did we have to fill out the normal health info, but we had to fill out a Psycho-Social profile.  This thing asked questions about our relationship that I don't share with my best friend.  It even wanted to know if we'd been married before and if the marriage ended due to infertillity and if not why.  What does that have to do with getting me pregnant??  Aaron thinks that since she's at the med school now this might have to do with some study or something.  So for me that opened up a whole new can of worms.  Do I want to be someone's guinea pig?  I already feel that way sometimes because infertility is all about testing things to see what works for your body. 

So basically I have two months or so now to wait.  I do have one BIG goal between now and then and that's to get as much weight off as possible.  The bad thing there is that I keep finding excuses as to why I need to wait to start.  I can tell my PCOS is out of control and am ready to see someone about it. 

Now I've shared part of my story.  There's a whole lot more to it that I'll be more than happy to share if someone wants to talk to me about it.