Broken Hearted

This afternoon around 5 I got the biggest shock I've had in a while. My aunt called to let me know that she had heard that my mom's childhood bestfriend had been shot by her husband in a murder/suicide. I was completely overwhelmed with grief. I have literally known Cindy my entire life. She was one of my first visitors when I was born. She was also one of Michael's first visitors at the hospital when he was born. Somehow I had missed the story on the news yesterday and this morning. I then had the "joy" of getting to call my mom and tell her the news. I debated with myself about calling her but decided that if anything were to ever happen to any one of my closest friends, I would hope that no matter where in the world I was at that time someone would call and tell me. I found out later that Cindy's mom was the one that found her. I can't imagine as a mother what Gin is going through. I can't wrap my head around ever walking into anywhere and finding my child dead. The very thought of it breaks my heart. I know how my heart hurts for the loss of this friend and I know it doesn't come anywhere close to what her family feels. She has left behind a daughter, Ginger, a son, Houston, and two beautiful grandchildren. I ask that you lift that family up in your prayers that God will help them to heal and bring to them a peace about the situation. I know their hurt will never fully go away, but at least take some of the sting away.

This whole thing has made me so thankful for all the people that I have in my life. It makes me appreciate my mother and that I still have her here. I can't tell you how many friends I called tonight to tell them I love them. I know that they know that but tonight I wanted to make sure that they knew. Thankfully they were all understanding of what I'm feeling right now and didn't think I was too terribly crazy. If you didn't get a call, it's not because I don't love you, it's more because I had a fussy 15 month old that demanded my attention.

I'm sorry if this post was a lot of rambling, but I'm still trying to make it all make sense in my mind. Thanks for reading my thoughts. This let me at least put some of my feelings into words.